The Diagnosis
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.

"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Terry is
61 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing, and without looking up and said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?

prefer a coffee or occasionally a glass of fizz.

I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate, I'm stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters, starting with M."
He said,
"Marooned."
I said
"Thanks, I'll have a pint of lager

A reminder that there is a Politics loop. It is not open to new members due to the lack of an active moderator. I have looked through the members and there are no racists or trolls.
https://www.scooploop.com/loops/current-affairs-and-politics

What is the difference between the Internet and the Web?

Breaking news, man collapses on the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport

Latest news... He is slowly coming round

https://www.scooploop.com/thread/digital-id-cards

https://www.scooploop.com/user/PaulFishe

Or current tech, if you still have one:

Mobile phones used to inform you about the arrival of a text message, with a notification in Morse Code. What did the message say, and what was it an abbreviation of? You get double points if you can give the message in Morse Code.

Two women are walking their dogs, one a German Shepherd and one a Pekingese, down the road when they smell something delicious from a restaurant nearby. “Shall we get some lunch?” the first woman says. The second woman looks at her skeptically. “They’ll never let us bring our dogs in the restaurant.”

“Don’t worry,” the first woman replies. “I have a plan.” She then puts on a pair of dark glasses and goes into the restaurant, behaving as though the German Shepherd is her seeing eye dog, and no one is the wiser. Inspired by her friend’s clever plan, the second woman puts on a pair of dark glasses and goes inside. The head waiter takes one look at her and says, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t allow dogs in here.”

“But, you don’t understand,” the second woman says. “This is my seeing eye dog.”

“Is it now?” the head waiter says incredulously. “Seeing eye dogs are supposed to be German Shepherds.” The woman then exclaims, “You mean….it’s not?”

Unless you have a backup power supply, or a satellite phone, then at the moment you would be unable to make a phone call*. This may change next year when you will be able to use an ordinary smartphone to make calls via satellite This is called D2D (Direct to device).

*If you still have an analogue landline plugged into a BT socket, then you will still be able to make a phone call.

I am old, and I just realized I still have so many unanswered questions. I never found out who let the Dogs Out...where's the beef...how to get to Sesame Street... why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps...why eggs are packaged in a flimsy paper carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that's tough as nails...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed... why "abbreviated" is such a long word... why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections... and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts" where's that extra penny going to... why do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs... and just what is Victoria's secret?

I'm not really sure what extra I was paying for that I can't have on my laptop for free. I know I got a years free subscripton when I bought the laptop, so last year was the first time my card was debited I think was £79. Thought about cancelling then but never got round to it. This years subs were due next month, and the fee has jumped up to nearly £110. That is too much, so I cancelled.
I think OneDrive and Camera Roll are held on Microsofts Cloud, but I have also got copies of all document on the laptop hard drive, and will copy them to USB stick. Photos already on USB.
The photos on Camera Roll are from when I had a real digital camera, before I had a smartphone with a good camera built in. Since I've had the smartphone, my photos, and photo's I've been sent on whatsapp are getting uploaded to Google's cloud. That's another reason not to pay for 365 anymore.

2 guys met in a bar. Shared a few drinks and lots of stories.

Suddenly, one guy looked at his watch ans exclaimed; Hell I have to leave, Pronto. Otherwise my wife will get upset and make my life hell.

So the second guy said; Tell me, how you go home.

The first guy said; I drive home, stop on the driveway QUIETLY. Close the car door QUIETLY. Walk on the lawn as rhe gravel track is too NOISY. I open the front door QUIETLY. QUIETLY I walk down the passage to the bedroom. When I get there all hell break loose!!!!!

Naah, the second guy said; That's wrong. Stop with screetching brakes. Slam ths door. And if you walk down the pastageregte singing, I'm In The Mood for LOVE.

I guarantee you your wife will sleep soundly until Sunrise Tomorrow……..

https://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/health-and-wellbeing/how-many-hours-sleep-do-i-need?

I can see that various members are having problems with basic web/computer activities. Viewing YouTube videos should present no problems, and they can be viewed without adverts. Facebook links do not require you to be a member of Facebook to view them. Website links should not be the result of a search, they should be the address of what you want to show; you should always click the link and not the image.

If you need help, you can post in the IT loop below.
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https://www.scooploop.com/loops/it-non-techie-help

https://uk.camelcamelcamel.com/

Thank goodness there are people who wouldn't be interested in eating a meal cooked by an Indian, it means we discerning members of the population dont have to suffer them in the restaurant.

Not only was the meal cooked by an Indian, but it was in a restaurant run by a double Michelin Star chef, Atul Kochhar.

In fact, before the meal, a group of non-racist people sat, watched, listened, and learned from Atul how to cook Indian food. We were attending a Masterclass in his Riwaz restaurant in Beaconsfield.

He was very interesting to learn from, (one tip was to cook tomatoes towards the end of the cooking time), as they severely reduce the temperature of the pan, which means the other ingredients do not get the correct heat for the correct time. There were so many simple tips he shared to improve our cooking experience. Oh, and sliced tomatoes should be skin on, pips in.

I've now been to four of his restaurants and the food is superb at all of them.

If you get a chance to visit one (or more), I recommend that you take it up. The only thing you won't find there, are racists.

Without using an alias, how can you see the posts of someone that has blocked you? There are two answers, one will show you only one post, the other will show a continuos list of their posts.

Enjoy!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-15088127/four-invasive-species-gardens-UK.html

This has appeared on Scooploop before, so if you know the answer, please give others a chance.
What does the Fi in WiFi stand for?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn9292wgxnqo?ua_linkname=bbcnews_thestudentsandgrandparentslivingunderoneroof_newsengland&at_campaign=crm&at_medium=emails&at_objective=conversion&at_ptr_name=airship&at_campaign_type=owned&at_ptr_type=media&at_creation=PANUK_DIV_37_NEW_TheUpbeat46_RET

The first web browser was called WorldWideWeb, but what was the first browser that was made available to the public: this displayed text and images on the same page?

Understandably, due to happenings elsewhere, various members are no longer posting/commenting on Scooploop, and some are no longer logging on. With the lack of staff and moderation, the future looks bleak. What are your thoughts?

Putting rice in a bag with a wet phone is the first thing most people would do, but this is not a scientific or safe action. Rice is not an efficient remover of moisture, and the dust in rice can damage a phone. You should use silica gel, which is the substance in the small packets in electronic devices packaging. Porridge oats, couscous and cat letter all absorb more water than rice.

https://www.gov.uk/alerts

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8739rrez23o

... I came across some Himalayan Pink Salt crystals. As can be seen on the label, the product was formed over 250 milion years ago. It's just as well that it was dug out of the ground when it was as after all that time, it only has a 2 year best before date on it!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yvpx20le2o

If you are worried about IHT for your children, then investigate a 'Deed of Variation'. This allows a beneficiary to change how their share of a deceased person's estate is distributed after their death, and this is treated as though the deceased person made that decision themselves.

https://geeksaroundglobe.com/denmarks-new-ai-law-lets-you-copyright-your-face-and-the-world-might-follow/

If you have an interest in football, you can join the loop by announcing your interest in the post below. You must be invited to join the loop.
https://www.scooploop.com/thread/new-loop-41ba8

Today I used the UK's first mini roundabout, and possibly the first one in the world.
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https://www.benfleethistory.org.uk/content/browse-articles/streets-and-roads/the-worlds-first-mini-roundabout-was-installed-in-benfleet

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads..."

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMbtoIKOqnw/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c80d9e8ep7do

My wife had said she didn't fancy anything for dinner tonight, it was going to be fajitas, but they've been deferred until tomorrow. There is a rack of ribs in the fridge that managed to attract my attention, but I wasn't quite sure I wanted them tonight.

Then the doorbell went. "Who is that", I thought, "I'm not expecting visitors".

So, I opened the door and there was my next-door neighbour standing there, holding out a container full of freshly cooked chicken curry she had just prepared.

Impeccable timing, Impeccable food. I do like living next door to Sikhs. Such gentle and kind people.

Watch this programme about the discovery of pulsars by Professor Jocelyn Bell Burnell, in which she reveals the treatment by her male colleagues, and the press.
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https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002h45s

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgr94xxye2lo

https://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/articles/cz60081dpyxo

If you like good music and you weren't watching BBC4 tonight, try to catch up on iPlayer if you can.

It was such a delight to listen to. Played by the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra and conducted by Domingo Hindoyan, it was a superb performance.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002gv5c/bbc-proms-2025-dvoraks-new-world-symphony-at-the-proms

Some hospitals now have phone charging stations where you can safely leave your phone charging for free.

We have all seen QR codes, but what does QR stand for? No googling or AIing obviously.

Whilst in Wick recently, I walked the length of the shortest Street in the World (see pictures).
It is six feet and nine inches long.
We were staying in the hotel on the street, the only door there leads into the bistro attached to Mackays Hotel.

We were there for a wedding and stayed three nights. I was taken by the breakfasts. There were various options including a full Scottish, but I opted for smoked haddock with a poached egg, sitting in a cream and butter sauce - delicious.

We stayed at various hotels and B&B while we were in Scotland, only one was a slight disappointment, the others were excellent including an Indian run hotel with a superb restaurant serving Indian/Scottish fusion food.

I arrived back yesterday. Lucky to have got back as we had just boarded our aeroplane, doors shut and awaiting start up, when the captain came on to advise us that the radar had failed in the London area, and we were on a delay of over three hours. She kept us regularly updated and took on more fuel for while we were sitting in Inverness and for possible stacking when arriving at Heathrow as well as delays getting on stand if aeroplanes had not left their stands when expected. In the event, because we were ready to go, when given an earlier nod, she got us airborne very quickly meaning our delay was, luckily, only about 90 minutes.

The government will be sending a test emergency alert on Sunday the 7th September 2025. It will play a 10 second siren and vibrate. It will not be received by phones using 2G or 3G. Phones using an Android version earlier than 11, or iOS earlier than 14.5, are unlikely to receive the alert. Phones connected to WiFi only will not receive it.

In the past, a drawn match could be decided by the toss of a coin!