Carers and Caring

Carers and Caring - A group for Carers, former Carers and those who have worked with or are working with Carers or the Cared for. To share experiences, chat, give unbiased and friendly advice, support and assistance. We do not accept advertisers on this loop

Open Loop 18

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 4d

      Fall alarms

      A very interesting and developing thread. The new Watch seems to be coming up trumps.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 11d


      Another company that offers everything from
      Pill dispensers to electronic fall alerts (as on other threads)

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 12d

      A hug

      As my mum is in the latter stages of dementia now and has been bed bound for the last few weeks I am purchasing a ‘hug’ for her

      She already has an electronic cat and various toys but being apart from all the other residents alone in her room for 24 hours a day it must be so very lonely. I visit every day, play music, tell stories, feed her and my husband dances, does puppet shows and reminisces about their numerous outings together.

      This site makes it easy for buyers to claim the exemption from VAT and the item was cheaper from them than any others I found .

    • Robert @RobRoy Laindon - updated 13d
    • Ray P @RayPro Norwich - updated 1mo

      wheelchair holiday

      Here is my impression of our first disabled holiday with the "Limitless Travel" company

      We travelled to South Mimms services the night before to meet the coach at 9 am, we stayed at the Premier Inn that unfortunately told us just 2 days before that the restruant was closed and the prebooked meals would be refunded later.
      Limitless Travel gave me a number for the courier to assist with luggage to the coach that took us to Chester via a 45 min stop in Birmingham
      Hiccup no.1 the telephone number was an old one and was turned off, so waiting outside the hotel a lady came out and asked what we were waiting for? - it turned out it was the courier we were supposed to phone, she had changed her phone, told company but still given her old number!
      We arrived at the 4 star Hilton hotel in Chester about 3 pm where we met the other members of our party by the three couriers/carers. We then went to our separate rooms to refresh before dinner at
      Our room was a suite with a king sized bed with its own bathroom, there was a large screen 55" tv that swivelled in a wide divider separating the other room that had a hospital bed and a wheeled commode/shower chair plus a fully disabled wet room. There was also a proper coffee pod machine along with the usual kettle etc. A settee, glass coffee table, armchair, desk and chair, fridge and safe. All in all a very nice room that catered for our needs.
      The coach driver was a real character at our first dinner that had everyone roaring with laughter within the first 15 minutes.
      We had a set menu to choose from that changed daily, it had a choice of 4 starters, 5 main courses and 4 desserts, followed by tea or coffee.
      We were seated on a long joined up table that had the whole party on it, chairs were removed to cater for wheelchairs. The food was first class.
      The trips out to Llandudno, Liverpool and Llanberis were well organised and catered for all disabilities, we had the same coach and driver from beginning to end. Weather wasn't great at Liverpool but we all enjoyed our river cruise around the docks, at Llandudno we had a high tea in a hotel overlooking the bay in warm sunshine, as was our trip to Llanberis where we all got on a train with a reserved carriage for wheelchairs for a trip along the lake, stunning scenery there.
      To be honest I thought the cost was too much but afterwards on reflection, the quality and detail provided was faultless and we could well be going with them again. (After saving up of course!)
      Cost was
      Adult Holiday Package (Ray Proctor) £1,199.00
      Adult Holiday Package (Jackie Proctor) £1,199.00

      Profiling Bed (Jackie Proctor) £479.00
      Shower Commode (Jackie Proctor) £161.00

      Discount - £100.00
      Total. £2,938.00

      (To put in perspective, the 4 days in the hotel suite we had would of cost me £760, plus half board meal at approx £600)

    • Robin Bird @adler Cowley - updated 11d

      One Plus of Being a Carer.

      For the last 18 months, since I have had to take on a full time caring role needing full time watching over I have lost 21 lbs in weight which is a big bonus as being no longer able to indulge in playing golf increasing weight has become a problem.
      With a heart condition of my own this is a real asset as I might be around for a little longer than I thought.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 2mo

      Sadly, this is often how vascular dementia starts

    • Ray P @RayPro Norwich - updated 2mo

      The conversion and planned holiday.

      This is what our bathroom looks like after having the bath removed and a wheel in shower fitted, plus some new units, this was all fitted within 4 days and was tax free.
      We have a holiday planned with a specialist disabled holiday company, special coach to Chester then trips out to Llandudno, train trip to the national park then a day in Liverpool the 5th day is travelling back. The hotel is supplying a hospital bed and wheeled shower/commode chair. Everything is wheelchair friendly, not cheap as you can imagine but our last holiday was 2019 and we certainly need this break.
      The powered wheelchair is now sitting in the garage and I'm going to sell it as Jackie just cannot control it safely, I've bought a sturdier used wheelchair that she seems to like.

    • Robert @RobRoy Laindon - updated 2mo

      Timothy West’s book

      Taken from his forthcoming book

      Something which so many of us have to deal with nowadays 😳

    • Robin Bird @adler Cowley - updated 3mo

      An Unpleasant Task Made Easier.

      I post this as it might make an odious task a bit less unpleasant.
      When there are medical issues to be coped with it is sometimes necessary to collect poo sample for analysis. The NHS supply a leaflet saying how this may be done without the sample touching the water, none of the methods are particularly convenient.
      Having recently been faced with this problem I have found the following solution, get a shallow plastic food packaging tray (the sort they pack meat in) about26 x 17 cms which you will find will fit under the rim of the toilet basin, line it with toilet paper and clip it into place. Having made the deposit, take the sample and then just empty the tray down the pan.
      Very clean and with the minimum of unpleasantness.
      Hope this might help someone stuck with this problem

    • Robin Bird @adler Cowley - updated 3mo

      Caring Made a Little Easier?.

      I found this procedure by accident.
      To ensure the correct dosage it became necessary for me to dispense my wife's medication so I decided to do this as the first task of the day, immediately on waking up. One morning I awoke early so got up, pulled the curtains and dispensed the medication and as I was ahead of schedule I sat up in bed and relaxed for 10 minutes or so, and I noticed that when I got up to start the day that I was functioning much more efficiently, so I tried it again with the same result.
      Now I rise earlier so that I can dispense the medication, with 10 minutes to spare to sit in bed, relax and plan the days activity,
      I find this very helpful, perhaps you might find it so too.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 4mo

      Council Tax disregards

      As you may know there are certain reasons and disregards for paying council tax

      Some of these are if the only other member of the household is under 18, or you are a carer for the other person and they are not your partner, or if the only other adult in the household is counted as having a SMI
      (Severe mental illness) this includes if they have Dementia or Parkinson’s Disease.
      You can apply if they have a formal diagnosis and are receiving a benefit such as Attendance allowance.

      The government site gives full details,under%2018%20years%20old

    • Danni @Danni Erith - 4mo


      We have had a thread in this group about ataxia before . I have found an update on the physiotherapist Bob, who appeared on YouTube, assisting others, and who now has ataxia himself. As you can see and hear, he is now struggling with his mobility, speech and balance but as he explains it does not effect his mind or thinking

    • Robin Bird @adler Cowley - updated 5mo

      Carer back-up & Security (Edited)

      Not directly about caring but associated with it and some may find it helpful.
      I have just taken up 24 Hour monitoring cover with two pendants with fall detection as I find it difficult to provide 24/7 watch on my wife.
      Clearly one needs 24 hour access for emergency services which in turn means a key safe outside. Having spent a large part of my working life buying Hardware I have always been wary of key safes fearing that they can advertise that there are vulnerable people in the property, however needs must etc. Further I was concerned that fitting the safe, a job that only 5 years ago would have taken 30 minutes, might be beyond my present capability. My fears proved to be groundless, I bought a Police approved box with cover, cost a bit more but definitely worth it, and with the modern fixing screws, supplied, fixing was simple although took a bit longer, just over the hour with careful planning and rests.
      Hope someone will find this helpful, any questions please ask or if you prefer PM me.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 5mo

      Attendance allowance

      A reminder and a link to the form, for anyone who’s cared for is of pension age or older.
      As stated elsewhere it is not means tested and may assist the cared for and their carer in gaining other assistance.

    • Ray P @RayPro Norwich - updated 5mo

      Situation update

      We are now moving into a different stage of wife's Parkinson's, her legs have now contracted in a bent condition so that she cannot support herself so the Zimmer frame and the standing hoists have been returned along with the tall toilet seat.
      I have purchased a wheeled shower chair that doubles as a toilet seat and this is her means of moving around inside the house.
      Our bedroom now resembles a factory with an overhead crane, I've had to move into another room to sleep. Her dementia is getting worse plus she's more demanding and comes out with the strangest things sometimes, surprisingly she remains in good spirits.
      I've bought her a powered wheelchair after pushing her around Pensthorpe (a nature reserve with lots of birds) which tired me out with the gravel paths. She cannot drive or ride a bike, so the first outing in my driveway she went into the wall 4 time, the flower beds umpteen times and into me twice. The proplem is panicking and not letting go of the joystick that automatically applies the brakes. After I'd arranged insurance for her chair we attempted going up the road, not very successfully but at least the road was not encroached on. Slowly and infrequently trying to get her to use it and then we can start to use the 2mph setting instead of 1mph one.
      Cooking is going well, I rarely look at a cook book now, I've purchased a built in induction hob to replace the portable one and I'm very pleased with it.
      The subject of a small lapdog came up and we hovered right up until we were going to the rescue centre when wifey panicked and said no, so I did the next best thing and bought an expensive fully automatic bean to cup coffee machine instead, wasn't a bad buy either as wifey a devoted tea drinker now likes a cappuccino a couple of times a day. We now use an extra 2 litres of milk a week.
      Our wheel in shower is starting to be fitted on Monday after removing the bath, there also going to fit slimline cabinets with wash basin and toilet, this will make life easier.

      This discussion is now closed.

    • Ray P @RayPro Norwich - updated 5mo

      An insight of the Parkinson's carer (but applies to all carers)

      The Hidden Caring Role (copied from my carers Facebook group)

      As many of you know we care for my people with Parkinson’s Disease and
      Dementia. On the face of things they function well and we are lucky we
      can still go out and do things and have what looks like a pretty ‘normal’
      What you probably don’t realise is that behind the scenes a whole lot
      goes on to make things happen but you don’t see these things and how
      they frustrate and tire us both out.

      We recently had Carers Week. I thought it was a good opportunity to
      highlight carers who on the surface appear to be coping brilliantly but
      underneath are trying to cope with so many hidden challenges. Maybe
      you have a friend or relative who is a carer and this may shed light on
      their lifestyle.

      I belong to a Facebook group for people who partner with someone with
      Parkinson’s (many of whom also have dementia) and I asked them for
      their hidden challenges.I had nearly 80 responses so it’s an emotive topic.
      You may be surprised at this list. There will be things in there that haven’t
      even crossed your mind. Not everyone deals with all this all of the time
      but it is an extensive ‘job description’!!!

      The hidden challenges of caring.

      • Constantly having to think and plan for two people
      • Arranging and being their advocate at every medical appointment
      –not just a GP or Neurologist but the affiliated appointments such
      as physio, mental health, podiatry, orthotics, dementia nurse,
      continence service etc etc.
      • Helping them deal with their anxiety (which is often heightened
      with Parkinson’s).
      • Trying not to show your own emotions as they can’t cope with you
      being upset
      • Ordering seemingly endless medication and managing it ensuring
      all medication is given correctly and in a timely way
      Watching their diet both for the swallowing/choking risk and also
      for the effect it has on their digestive system.
      • Dealing with constipation/diarrhoea including thinking and
      planning ahead if going out.
      • Making sure you have bought continence equipment such as pads,
      waterproof bedding etc – just in case.
      • Providing reassurance if they are disorientated or confused
      • Explaining things over and over again as memory deteriorates.
      • Helping to support them if they hallucinate – reassuring them that
      no-one is in the house and they are safe
      • Feeling ‘jealous’ that friends can just ‘go’ whereas we have to plan
      and organise to the n’th degree. Being impromptu or travelling light
      is not an option.
      • Helping them dress
      • Cutting their nails
      • Sorting out hearings aids – putting them in, cleaning them, changing
      the batteries, ordering new parts
      • Driving them to every appointment
      • Not being able to prioritise whatever you need to do as if they need
      us we have to drop everything
      • Getting up in the night with them to help with toiletting or to
      change beds when accidents occur
      • Endless washing
      • Being careful what information you give them as too much notice of
      appointments or events can cause unnecessary anxiety
      • Helping them do exercises provided by physio
      • Motivate them to get active rather than just snoozing in front of the
      • Help find ‘meaningful’ tasks so they feel they are being helpful and
      have a fulfilled day when they can no longer do things they used to
      • Helping them with tasks so they feel they’ve achieved something
      even at the expense of you getting your tasks done.
      • Carrying bags whilst out and ensuring they can walk or use a
      wheelchair safely
      • Manhandling the wheelchair if they use one
      • Asking for help for them eg when travelling
      • Planning every trip out route planning, driving, finding parking,
      checking ahead for disabled spaces etc
      • Dealing with all paperwork including insurance, banking,
      • Organising and dealing with property maintenance locating and
      booking tradesmen, dealing with them and paying them.
      • Chasing up appointments if they can’t manage the phone or email
      • Dealing with ‘the system’ as not every professional acts in a timely
      or correct way.
      • Dreading the post arriving/phone going for yet more appointments
      or things to sort out.
      • Constantly feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility
      • Wanting to go out and do ‘nice’ things and make memories but not
      being able to face the gargantuan amount of effort it takes to
      organise days out/holidays and the tiredness when you get back.
      • Constantly watching for new symptoms to ensure nothing gets
      missed – not assuming all issues are due to Parkinson’s
      • Helping to moisturise skin, legs and feet especially checking for
      sores or damage
      • Ensuring they wear a hat and sun cream and drink plenty in the
      • Making sure they have hat, scarf and gloves when it’s cold.
      • Constantly keeping an eye on them to check they are safe. Not
      leaving them on their own and needing to organise someone to be
      with them so you can go out alone.
      • Help with washing, shaving and personal care.
      • Organising their clothes as they can’t always chose appropriate
      items for the weather/activity
      • Finding things they’ve lost time and time again.
      • Feeling upset when you witness someone of a similar age achieve
      basic tasks like buying shopping or putting fuel in the car knowing
      your loved one will never do that again.
      • Buying your own Birthday and Christmas presents as they cannot
      shop alone or order online
      • Having to take over the tasks they thought of as theirs – car
      maintenance, gardening, cooking and washing for example
      Feeling lonely even when they are sat next to you as their
      comprehension and conversation diminishes.
      • Making decisions as they can’t do it for themselves.
      • Wording questions in a meaningful way because an open question
      such as ‘what do you want for dinner?’ will not elicit a suitable
      • Answering the same questions time and time again
      • Trying to keep up with what they are asking as their train of thought
      jumps around
      • Filling in missing words when they can’t articulate well
      • Trying to calm their frustration when they can’t make themselves
      • Dealing with fluctuations in movement as medication wears off.
      Freezing or becoming ‘stuck’ can be common
      • Trying to keep to a routine that makes them feel comfortable and
      • Sundowning- when they deteriorate late in the day – thinking they
      are in the wrong house or wrong bedroom. Dealing with aggression
      or distress that goes with this.
      • Grieving for the person they used to be that you’ve lost
      • Losing yourself and feeling that your relationship with them has
      • Not being able to relax and enjoy things as you’re permanently ‘on
      • Trying to keep them safe and double checking everything such as if
      they use the kitchen. Making sure they haven’t unplugged the
      freezer or fridge
      • Finding kitchen items in strange places. I’ve given up counting how
      often I’ve rearranged the cutlery drawer to put things where I can
      find them!
      • Taking over all the household chores as they fail to remember how
      to work the washing machine, microwave or dishwasher
      • Having them follow you around so you can’t get on with things that
      need your concentration.
      • Having little if any time to do the things you used to enjoy
      • Friends ‘dropping’ you as they can’t deal with the deterioration and
      you can’t join in like you used to. The loneliness that goes with it.
      • Constantly repeating things
      • Trying hard not to snap when you’re tired and frustrated. Speaking
      to them with your ‘Disney Princess’ voice and not your Cruella De
      Ville voice!
      • Liaising with and booking care providers if used. Dealing with
      invoices or employment law if employed directly
      • Trying to make out to friends and family that you’re fine (even when
      you’re not)

      If you’ve got to the end of this list well done! Not everyone experiences
      all of these all the time but the consensus was they are all part of the role.

      One person summed it up as this:-
      “ Having to control their life as they can't make their own decisions but
      having no control over your own life. “

      This discussion is now closed.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - 6mo

      Deprivation of Liberties

      As this came up in another group I thought I would share information regarding this process and the link also mentions how some authorities, staff etc still do not really understand how it works

      My own Mothers DOLS is renewed each year. I am contacted annually to discuss and agree it’s continuation

    • Lesley A @Lesley4 Frant - updated 6mo

      Energy Bill Support for people in care homes: £400

      I have just been nosing around on the Government Website re cost of living payments and discovered that my MiL should have received £400 as she pays her own care home fees. She hasn’t received this. This is the Energy Bill Support Payment. DEADLINE for application is 31st MAY. This info might be useful for someone.

    • Ray P @RayPro Norwich - updated 7mo

      Still going

      Just thought I'd bring you all up to date on our situation, Jackie is just about capable of moving now as shown in clip, although she tires in the evening and I wheel her around for abloutions and bed. We've just got a quote to remove the bath and fit a wheel in shower, I supply the tiles where the bath was and was happy to see it was only £3.1k from a local disability specialist building company.
      Her dementia is holding its own by her medication thankfully, our local Parkinson's group is running a voice course for 8 weeks and Jackie is signed up for it as she is very quietly spoken as she speaks into her chest, thankfully she's still aware and in good spirits.
      I belong to a Parkinson's Facebook group for supporting carers, compared to other carers I've got it easy but some are at the end of their tether, one today ended up with the Samaritans others make you laugh or cry, it's a good outlet for frustration and anger.
      You may remember I've had dogs for most of my life, when our last one passed 4 years ago Jackie didn't want another one because as we know now her instability was beginning to appear. Now it is not so much, or soon to be not an issue so I broached the idea of a rescue companion dog i.e. cavalier or bischon frisé sort as company for her when I'm out. After some yes, yes, maybe, no I've decided to get myself a nice one button fully automatic coffee machine instead 😜
      Quite the accomplished cook now, I make old fashioned bread pudding that seems to go down well with all our family and even had to make one for Jackie's knit and natter group, all done in the ninja.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 8mo

      Challenge Anneka - dementia Village

      Cancelled 😞
      Was so looking forward to this weeks show

      Let’s all keep a look out for when it does get rescheduled

    • Krista L @KristaLonsdale East Barnet - updated 8mo

      Facebook Dementia Carers group.

      Have I posted this before? Can`t recall 🤣 Worth repetion! This is such a nice caring group,no disagreements, no trolls, very little judgement. Just sympathetic ears, some people who understand to have a rant with, information, others who are doing it and understand better how to do certain things you`ve never done before or tricks to help you cope. Allsorts and all positive.
      But boy are there some sad stories and so many carers getting isolated and exhausted.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 8mo

      Power of Attorney

      Martin Lewis

      Although we have discussed this before I hope you will find this explanation and advice helpful

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 8mo

      Day clocks (Edited)

      For any of us who lose track of ‘what day of the week it is’ these clock by dayclox are ideal and a much more reasonable price than that offered on Amazon. They are battery operated and if you are buying for someone who has a disability there is a simple form to fill in to take off VAT

    • Danni @Danni Erith - updated 8mo

      Fiddle toys and activities

      Keeping hands busy can help those with dementia , to stop shaking, pulling, rubbing, gripping or even hitting themselves or others around them

      There are toys and activities that can be used to help on this site

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 8mo

      Don’t shout at my husband

      Says wife of actor Bruce Willis

    • Sheila A @Ange Bromley Common - updated 4mo
    • Robert @RobRoy Laindon - updated 8mo


      I wasn’t sure whether it was relevant to put this in the group or in Anything.

      Ben Spencer , raising awareness of Ataxia

      Maybe a carer of someone with Ataxia, or someone with it, may be interested.

    • Dawn @Dawns Stoke Poges - updated 9mo

      If I get Dementia...

      ♥️. If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.

      1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
      2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
      3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
      4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
      5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
      6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
      7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
      8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
      9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
      10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
      11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
      12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. If I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
      13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
      14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you.
      15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
      16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
      17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
      18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
      19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
      20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
      21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”

      This discussion is now closed.

    • John H @JohnH6 Westcliff-On-Sea - updated 9mo

      The Herbert Protocol

      The Herbert Protocol is a national scheme that encourages carers, family and friends to provide and put together useful information, which can then be used in the event of a vulnerable person going missing.

      Carers and/or relatives and friends can complete a form in advance, including important information about the missing individual such as the contact numbers, medication needed, and also a photograph can be provided.

      The form can be easily sent or handed to the police in the event of a loved one going missing, reducing the time to gather this information.

      More information here:

    • Sheila A @Ange Bromley Common - updated 9mo

      Adaptive Clothing

      Just came across this website and thought it might be useful if someone has difficulty/needs help with dressing.

    • Krista L @KristaLonsdale East Barnet - updated 9mo
    • Sheila A @Ange Bromley Common - updated 9mo

      Could Alzheimer's be caused by an infection

      Posting this here on behalf of another member not in this group

    • Lesley A @Lesley4 Frant - updated 11mo

      A model of dementia care

      This sounds promising. I read about ghe Dutch homes quite a few years ago.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 11mo


      Let’s discuss this phenomenon, common in those that have a diagnosis of dementia.

      My Mother, with vascular dementia, exhibited this almost every day. Starting around 4.30-5pm.

      We managed this in different ways, which could depend on the time of year, the weather and with various distraction techniques. As her dementia progressed it became more difficult to cope with without medication.

      A friends husband would become very agitated . Moving and sometimes damaging furniture in their home.

    • Marian @Mags2 West Wickham - updated 11mo

      Personal alarms

      Has anyone any experience of personal alarms. I am looking for a pendant watch type alarm that would make contact with various family mobiles in the event of a fall or need for assistance.
      I know Age UK has such a service but think it goes through a call centre and has an involved set up system.
      Am considering CPR Guardian III SOS Personal alarm watch and will be contacting them soon to discuss the product.
      In the meantime, any views or comments from you knowledgeable folk?

      Many years ago we had a BT landline for my mum with an emergency button—- plus pendant/watch to wear — that made contact with us via mobiles whenever assistance was required. We could talk to her via the phone without her ringing us when button pressed.
      Obviously now things have moved on and alerts for falls or for moving out of a designated area are all programmed into a device. I want something simple but also competent to give me piece of mind when I leave my husband on his own .

      Thanks everyone.

    • Marian @Mags2 West Wickham - updated 11mo

      Any advice please?

      My husband is 92, virtually deaf, with mobility issues and has prostate cancer that has gone into his bones.
      He had a fall at home when unattended and has shown a definite decline in speech, shakiness and urine output. We don’t think it was a stroke but he was very shaken with skin damage.
      Having read that if standing becomes an issue with prostate cancer( compression) you need to get medical help quickly I emailed the surgery about our concerns.
      The quick response team sent a nurse to log all the problems and she left, telling us we needed to get him to A @ E . It was the cattle market as usual there and after hauling him into a car we sat for 3 and a half hours getting nowhere in the system and hauled him back home again when he asked continuously to leave.
      what does one do??

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 1y

      A useful company

      Maybe useful for carers to find independence aids for their cared for

      From assisting with doing up buttons to non tilt trays !

    • Sheila A @Ange Bromley Common - updated 1y


      After several years of me telling my sister to get a walker (she hates them), she's finally given in and bought one. Now she can get to the Marks in the garage just along the road and get a few things.

      Of course, there's something wrong with it all - she has to go in the lift which she hates and she can't carry a basket and push the walker so she can't get much.

      Arrrggghh!! I need wine and chocolate!!!

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 1y

      Power of Attorney

      I am sure most members of this group
      Are aware, and may already have a Power of Attorney for their loved one. But for anyone who hasn’t here is the link to the details and forms .
      I would advise that anyone doing this download all the advice and information sheets before filling in either or both of the POA’s.
      Most people used to do this through a solicitor but it can be very expensive and now it is all online, it is reasonably easy to
      do. However it must be done in the Donors name (cared for) to record their wishes and choices for both health and finances .
      The person named to take on the care of the donors wishes when required is called the ‘The Attorney’
      Our ‘Donor’ was advised , and was happy, not to make their choices complicated , leaving most choices to the ‘Attorneys’ as she fully trusted us to only act in her best interests at all times .

    • Marian @Mags2 West Wickham - 1y

      Shower chair/commode (Edited)

      My daughter presented us with this second hand sturdy shower chair/commode to assist us. Unfortunately it is too wide to fit in our bath and my husband insists he will not use a commode!
      It has removal back and arms.The chair has good wheels for moving it around but one break flap seems to be missing from one of the front wheels.
      If it could be of use to anyone who can collect from the Coney Hall area, please reply to me and I will take some photos and take measurements.
      It might help someone out?

      Originally typed that one arm was loose but have edited that. I hadn’t screwed it in place properly!! It is fine and can be secured.

    • Marian @Mags2 West Wickham - updated 1y

      Covid booster

      Has anyone else found finding a venue for this autumn Covid booster more difficult? Previous doses have been available at centres where disabled parking and wheelchair access was easy. This time on looking online for such requirements I am presented with mainly a list of small chemists on busy roads ( and none very local) where I feel nervous about finding an empty parking space with the possibility of having to wheel my husband across a main road.
      In desperation I searched again for a place WITHOUT any requirements and found a centre I once attended for myself. You have to park in a multi-storey car park with a lift and come out near a Health Centre that has a ramp so have booked hoping the lifts are not broken. I just don’t understand why I was not offered this on my search with disability requirements!
      As for the 119 phone line!!! Two attempts battling multiple choices and endless information recordings and then both times I was cut off whilst speaking with the assistant at the call centre! Life is stressful enough without this sort of experience.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 1y

      Dieticians (Edited)

      Has anyone got experience they would like to share about encouraging their cared for to eat.

      I found in the early days, My Mother was advised to eat healthily, supposedly to slow down her dementia! She was, as we all are, also advised to drink more as her brain was dehydrated! She ignored all of this advice even though we stickered almost every surface with reminders and when she did eat she did so with gusto. Later changed - she literally lost all motivation and forgot to eat. Struggled with holding cutlery

      My advice would be (if your loved one is losing weight)
      Don’t worry about set mealtimes
      Offer snacks
      Don’t remove food or take food away just because they say no initially.
      Offer bright coloured food
      Stop worrying about healthy food let them eat anything they fancy even if that’s Jaffa cakes or bacon for every meal. You can always give build up drinks or add vitamins in other ways.

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 1y

      Useful sites

      Here’s an online shop , not one I have personally used, that have useful items and ideas for those who are finding they are having difficulty around the home or are carers.

      Do any members have any recommendations for good online companies

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - 1y

      Free membership for people with Parkinson’s and their carers

    • Ray P @RayPro Norwich - updated 1y

      Tiredness disaster

      Never cook when tired.

      Picked some rhubarb from the garden, chopped and washed it, place it in a saucepan with water, sugar and 2 cinnamon sticks, put on gas and promptly fell asleep.
      Woke up to a burning smell!! (first picture)
      After 1 hour separating lid from pan then scraping and cleaning the inside of pan and lid were passable. (2nd picture)
      Got more rhubarb from garden and repeat with added brandy, (picture 3)
      Finished product. (last picture)

    • Ray P @RayPro Norwich - updated 1y


      I took my wife to our first meeting of the local Parkinson's support group, was quite interesting and informative although I struggled to stay awake during the speakers memories of being a policeman in the 60's.
      Tea and cake were welcome and I got chatting to a few, plus we are booked on their coach trip next month with dinner on route.
      Wife has stabilised a little, and my cooking skills have expanded to using an air fryer. (Amazon prime day offer)

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - 1y

      Hospital stays

      This link was posted in another group after a discussion on whether benefits stopped during hospital stays and may also be useful for members of this group

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - 1y

      Copied from a local group

    • CharlotteB @CharlotteB Crayford - updated 1y

      Attendance Allowance

      As a carer you may need to apply or assist your cared for to claim this allowance. Unless you already have power of attorney it is easier if the cared for can sign the form themselves . It is also easier if you have a recent copy of a medical assessment . Otherwise the authorities will contact the cared for’s GP or Consultant for evidence . This may take longer but the allowance will be backdated.
      This allowance is for people who are pension age .

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