Ray P @RayPro
Norwich
- 20 Friends
- 612 Posts
- 13410 Comments
- 5495 Reactions
- 16876 Points
Retired and spending the kids inheritance and so I am told apparently opinionated
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3 x men on a hill, what are their nationalities?
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During a Physics course at University, many years ago, the professor thought to give his students the following assignment to answer: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following. “First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true. Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic, and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls, and is therefore extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being. Which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."” THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A+"
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5.3 mile walk
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6 more picture(s)
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Shirt sleeve weather!
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Another nice morning 4.25 mile walk
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7 more picture(s)
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Will be a spectacular bluebell display in a week or two.
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Another walk from Coltishall
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Lovely day for a walk
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"No piece of art has ever emotionally affected me the way this robot arm piece has. It's programmed to try to contain the hydraulic fluid that’s constantly leaking out and required to keep itself running...if too much escapes, it will die so it's desperately trying to pull it back to continue to fight for another day. Saddest part is they gave the robot the ability to do these 'happy dances' to spectators. When the project was first launched it danced around spending most of its time interacting with the crowd since it could quickly pull back the small spillage. Many years later... (as you see it now in the video) it looks tired and hopeless as there isn't enough time to dance anymore.. It now only has enough time to try to keep itself alive as the amount of leaked hydraulic fluid became unmanageable as the spill grew over time. Living its last days in a never-ending cycle between sustaining life and simultaneously bleeding out... (Figuratively and literally as its hydraulic fluid was purposefully made to look like it's actual blood). "The robot arm finally ran out of hydraulic fluid in 2019, slowly came to a halt and died - And I am now tearing up over a friggin robot arm 😭 It was programmed to live out this fate and no matter what it did or how hard it tried, there was no escaping it. Spectators watched as it slowly bled out until the day that it ceased to move forever. Saying that 'this resonates' doesn't even do it justice imo. Created by Sun Yuan & Peng Yu, they named the piece, 'Can't Help Myself'. What a masterpiece. What a message." Extended interpretations: the hydraulic fluid in relation to how we kill ourselves both mentally and physically for money just in an attempt to sustain life, how the system is set up for us to fail on purpose to essentially enslave us and to steal the best years of our lives to play the game that the richest people of the world have designed. How this robs us of our happiness, passion and our inner peace. How we are slowly drowning with more responsibilities, with more expected of us, less rewarding pay-offs and less free time to enjoy ourselves with as the years go by. How there's really no escaping the system and that we were destined at birth to follow a pretty specific path that was already laid out before us. How we can give and give and give and how easily we can be forgotten after we've gone.. How we are loved and respected when we are valuable, then one day we aren't any longer and we become a burden...and how our young, free-caring spirit gets stolen from us as we get churned out of the broken system that we are trapped inside of. Can also be seen to represent the human life cycle and the fact that none of us make it out of this world alive. But also can act as a reminder to allow yourself to heal, rest and love with all of your heart. That the endless chase for 'more' isn't necessary in finding your own inner happiness.” - James Kricked Parr
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This made me cry 😭😭 When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting....the struggles of a baby waking in the night, the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports... Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches.... You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning....and try to soak in the magic of those moments. You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames...and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love...no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes. Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like. In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around. You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time.... Then suddenly hours turn into days...days into months...and months into years. That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons...suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go. And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home....gets filled with silence and solitude. You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them....but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work. So you hold on as tight as you can...wondering how time passed so quickly...feeling guilty that you missed something.... Because even though you had 20 years.....it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough. You ask yourself so many questions... Did you teach them the right lessons? Did you read them enough books as a child? Spend enough time playing with them? How many school parties did you have to miss? Do they really know how much you love them? What could I have done better as a parent? .....When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks. Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life....that at times leaves you exhilarated....while others leave you heartbroken. But one thing is certain.....it’s never enough time...💕 So for all the parents with young children...whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness... Exhausted day in and day out... Soak. It. All. In. Because one day....all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners... All come to an end. And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings.... They’ll fly...💕💕💕 Credit to the Amazing Author: @MistyBrewerLee
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Tomorrow, you can read the date from left to right, from right to left and upside-down. A palindrome and an ambigram.
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Taken by a friend on her morning walk this morning at Gorleston, Norfolk.
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GARDEN CLEARANCE SALE 6 trampolines 21 fence panels (various sizes) 45 Marley roof tiles Size 12 red thong Half a shed 😂 Contact me for prices UPDATE....correction only 4 trampolines 2 have moved on NEW STOCK ARRIVING EVERY 5 MINS!!.. 🤷🏻♂️
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A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asked them for their orders. The man said, "A hamburger, crisps and a pint." She turned to the ostrich. "What's yours?" she asked the ostrich. "I'll have the same," said the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returned with the order. "That will be £12.46, please." And the man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich came again and the man said, "A hamburger, crisps and a pint." The ostrich said, "I'll have the same." Again the man reached into his pocket and paid with exact change. This becomes routine until the two entered again. "The usual?" asked the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," said the man. "Same," said the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brought the order and said, "That will be £42.62." Once again the man pulled the exact change out of his pocket and placed it on the table. The waitress could not hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" "Well," said the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" said the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," said the man. The waitress asked, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighed, paused and answered, "My second wish was for a tall bird with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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Sheepdogs
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Some bad news, not been feeling my best over the last few days I just wanted to let everyone know that I have been admitted into hospital and they are keeping me in. I have only gone and poisoned myself. What I thought was an onion turned out to be a daffodil bulb.They said I should be out some time in the spring.
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Lost dog.
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Rising costs.
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Firstly I have no idea what version of the android app I'm using as it has still not been reinstated! Secondly the overheader that allows me to mark all posts as read has now been removed, as there are some posts that do not interest me, unless I open them there is no way that I can remove them.
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So I'm at Pets at Home buying a bag of dog food for the whoofies 🐶 While in the queue, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog 🤔 Why else would I be buying dog food? So being down with the banter I told her "No, I don't have a dog, I'm starting my Dog Food Diet again" and that I probably really shouldn't cos last time, I had ended up in hospital, in intensive care with IV's in both arms and tubes coming out of most orifices. But I had lost 3 stone in 4 Weeks! I told her that it was essentially the Perfect Diet and all you have to do is load your pockets with dry dog food and just eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I get the 'Complete' food cos it's nutritionally balanced, so it works really well and I decided that I was goin to give it another go. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story) Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a Cocker Spaniel's arse and a lorry hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I nicked it from another page! Now go make someone else laugh 😂😂😂
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New Year's resolutions.
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1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson. 2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled. 3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move. 4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? ’Swarm. 5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price. 6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on. 7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around. 8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene. 9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars. 10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer. 11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough. 12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band. 13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it. 14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark. 15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell. 16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare. 17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.” 18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence. 19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering. 20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find. 21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road. 22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re. 23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.” 24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self. 25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
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Posh Mongrels!
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Good dog or !!!
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