Head of Fraud at Thames Valley Police warns of Sophisticated Romance Fraud Tactics
As Valentine’s Day approaches, The Head of Fraud at Thames Valley Police is urging the public to be alert to the emotional and psychological manipulation used by criminals committing romance fraud. Although these crimes occur all year round, this time of year provides an important opportunity to highlight how offenders groom victims, build trust, and exploit them financially.
Romance fraudsters rarely begin by asking for money. Instead, they construct a detailed illusion of trust to draw victims in. They frequently share personal stories early in the conversation – describing their home life, work, ambitions, or future plans – to create emotional connection and credibility. Later, they reuse these same details as “evidence” to support fabricated emergencies or financial requests. This form of manipulation mirrors behaviours seen in coercive control, blurring a victim’s sense of what is genuine.
A common warning sign is manufactured urgency. Offenders often claim sudden illness, emotional distress or a crisis requiring immediate help. These stories are intentionally designed to distract victims from the underlying ask: money. If a victim hesitates, offenders may accuse them of lacking care or loyalty, applying deliberate emotional pressure to prevent them from seeking advice.
Another tactic is “legitimate secrecy,” where the offender encourages the victim to keep the relationship hidden under the guise of protecting something special. Statements such as “People won’t understand us” or “Don’t tell anyone – it will ruin things” are used to isolate victims from friends and family, limiting the chance for outside perspective.
Over time, this emotional dependency allows offenders to disguise financial requests within stories of hardship: a health crisis, problems at work, or situations only the victim can resolve. These requests may not always be direct. Fraudsters often hint at financial struggles - “I’ll manage somehow” or “If only I had enough to fix this…” - creating a sense of responsibility and prompting victims to offer money voluntarily.
Detective Inspector Duncan Wynn, Head of the Central Fraud Unit at Thames Valley Police, said:
“Romance fraud is a form of emotional exploitation that can be deeply damaging, not just financially but psychologically. Offenders operate with patience, skill, and intent—they create a sense of closeness, then use that trust to isolate victims and apply pressure.
No genuine relationship will demand secrecy, urgency, or financial support. If something does not feel right, speak to someone you trust or seek advice early. Reaching out for help is not a sign of naivety—it is a vital step in protecting yourself.”
Thames Valley Police is encouraging members of the public to read Staying Safe from Romance Fraud booklet, which outlines practical steps to recognise red flags and reduce the risk of victimisation.
The booklet was created in partnership with, Dr Elisabeth Carter, Associate Professor of Criminology and Forensic Linguist, Kingston University.
This booklet has been designed to demonstrate the clever tactics used by romance fraudsters with a view to empower the knowledge of our communities.
It also dispels the myths of shame and embarrassment often associated with this crime by highlighting the link to coercive control.
Key Reminders:
If someone online seems “perfect” very quickly, pause and reflect. Be wary of sudden crises or emotional appeals requiring fast action. Healthy relationships never rely on secrecy. Any financial request—direct or indirect—is a major red flag. Stay connected with trusted friends or family who can offer perspective.
For more information, visit the A guide to spotting romance fraudsters | Thames Valley Police .
https://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/SysSiteAssets/media/downloads/thames-valley/campaigns/romance-fraud-ebook_v3.pdf
Please notify Report Fraud https://reporting.reportfraud.police.uk/?__cf_chl_tk=ptld8rsj6lun7uwhjhr3d8cq5zz05a3faonbymce3ai-1770985123-1.0.1.1-c8xib5rn8e.rqtdwdxgci0hpecaao6zhrdwoquloh9y
if you have been targeted with fraud where you may report online or by calling 0300 123 2040.
Further resources
The Central Fraud Unit have also created the Romance Fraud Practical Support Guide, aimed at signposting anyone targeted with romance fraud towards the practical and emotional steps to help deal with the aftermath.
Hear more about how fraud criminals exploit manipulative tactics in the BBC Sounds - Love Bombed
Take steps to feel empowered against all types of fraud using the Fraud Protection toolkit
Follow the Central Fraud Unit on ‘X’ at @TVPCyber_Fraud
Romance fraudsters rarely begin by asking for money. Instead, they construct a detailed illusion of trust to draw victims in. They frequently share personal stories early in the conversation – describing their home life, work, ambitions, or future plans – to create emotional connection and credibility. Later, they reuse these same details as “evidence” to support fabricated emergencies or financial requests. This form of manipulation mirrors behaviours seen in coercive control, blurring a victim’s sense of what is genuine.
A common warning sign is manufactured urgency. Offenders often claim sudden illness, emotional distress or a crisis requiring immediate help. These stories are intentionally designed to distract victims from the underlying ask: money. If a victim hesitates, offenders may accuse them of lacking care or loyalty, applying deliberate emotional pressure to prevent them from seeking advice.
Another tactic is “legitimate secrecy,” where the offender encourages the victim to keep the relationship hidden under the guise of protecting something special. Statements such as “People won’t understand us” or “Don’t tell anyone – it will ruin things” are used to isolate victims from friends and family, limiting the chance for outside perspective.
Over time, this emotional dependency allows offenders to disguise financial requests within stories of hardship: a health crisis, problems at work, or situations only the victim can resolve. These requests may not always be direct. Fraudsters often hint at financial struggles - “I’ll manage somehow” or “If only I had enough to fix this…” - creating a sense of responsibility and prompting victims to offer money voluntarily.
Detective Inspector Duncan Wynn, Head of the Central Fraud Unit at Thames Valley Police, said:
“Romance fraud is a form of emotional exploitation that can be deeply damaging, not just financially but psychologically. Offenders operate with patience, skill, and intent—they create a sense of closeness, then use that trust to isolate victims and apply pressure.
No genuine relationship will demand secrecy, urgency, or financial support. If something does not feel right, speak to someone you trust or seek advice early. Reaching out for help is not a sign of naivety—it is a vital step in protecting yourself.”
Thames Valley Police is encouraging members of the public to read Staying Safe from Romance Fraud booklet, which outlines practical steps to recognise red flags and reduce the risk of victimisation.
The booklet was created in partnership with, Dr Elisabeth Carter, Associate Professor of Criminology and Forensic Linguist, Kingston University.
This booklet has been designed to demonstrate the clever tactics used by romance fraudsters with a view to empower the knowledge of our communities.
It also dispels the myths of shame and embarrassment often associated with this crime by highlighting the link to coercive control.
Key Reminders:
If someone online seems “perfect” very quickly, pause and reflect. Be wary of sudden crises or emotional appeals requiring fast action. Healthy relationships never rely on secrecy. Any financial request—direct or indirect—is a major red flag. Stay connected with trusted friends or family who can offer perspective.
For more information, visit the A guide to spotting romance fraudsters | Thames Valley Police .
https://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/SysSiteAssets/media/downloads/thames-valley/campaigns/romance-fraud-ebook_v3.pdf
Please notify Report Fraud https://reporting.reportfraud.police.uk/?__cf_chl_tk=ptld8rsj6lun7uwhjhr3d8cq5zz05a3faonbymce3ai-1770985123-1.0.1.1-c8xib5rn8e.rqtdwdxgci0hpecaao6zhrdwoquloh9y
if you have been targeted with fraud where you may report online or by calling 0300 123 2040.
Further resources
The Central Fraud Unit have also created the Romance Fraud Practical Support Guide, aimed at signposting anyone targeted with romance fraud towards the practical and emotional steps to help deal with the aftermath.
Hear more about how fraud criminals exploit manipulative tactics in the BBC Sounds - Love Bombed
Take steps to feel empowered against all types of fraud using the Fraud Protection toolkit
Follow the Central Fraud Unit on ‘X’ at @TVPCyber_Fraud
