Serial Sausage Mystery.
"The first sausage arrived in my letter-box in the summer of 2022" Jacob Coetzee told reporters in Surfdale, N.Z.
"Wrapped in white buttered bread, coated in tomato sauce, and looking like it was barbecued. I shrugged it off as a leftover from a drunk passer-by, until it happened again and again.
Same sauce, same sausage, and same location. So I sent a picture to friends, and some of them had been sausaged too.
That's when we realised we had a serial sausager in our community.
It's traumatic. Nobody's letter-box is safe. It's ripping us apart. We can't trust anyone anymore. I've been accused. My brother's been accused. It's a witch-hunt.
Local psycholgist Dr. Dougal Sutherland said "A sense of mystery is a nice distraction. People can talk about it and ask 'Have you been sausaged yet?' "
[ Tx to current Private Eye... ]
"Wrapped in white buttered bread, coated in tomato sauce, and looking like it was barbecued. I shrugged it off as a leftover from a drunk passer-by, until it happened again and again.
Same sauce, same sausage, and same location. So I sent a picture to friends, and some of them had been sausaged too.
That's when we realised we had a serial sausager in our community.
It's traumatic. Nobody's letter-box is safe. It's ripping us apart. We can't trust anyone anymore. I've been accused. My brother's been accused. It's a witch-hunt.
Local psycholgist Dr. Dougal Sutherland said "A sense of mystery is a nice distraction. People can talk about it and ask 'Have you been sausaged yet?' "
[ Tx to current Private Eye... ]
